For the Love of the Muppets

With all the hype around Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Jason Segel is this year's Seth Rogen. Both are funny, both (now) successful, and both Jewish. Yeah...it always seems to come down to that.

While Sarah Marshall is getting her own dose of incredible PR, there's a more important project in the works: a new Muppet movie (source: Variety Magazine). With Segel at the pen and Nicholas Stoller behind the camera, this is sure to be the funniest, and perhaps dirtiest Muppet movie ever.

In an interview this morning on Mix 99.9, Segel said he wanted to bring it back to the classic tone of the Muppets performing, versus having them in space or some other location where us true Muppet fans know, no Muppet would dare go.

A colleague of mine and I were reminiscing briefly this morning over some Timmy's (him) and Cranberry Juice (me), and we figured this is where the Muppets would be today if they aged with us:

Elmo: rehab for drug and helium abuse

Oscar: working at a seniors residence in the "cheer program"

Bert & Ernie: one would be working a cashiers job at the homewares department of some mid-range department store, the other suffering from some form of colitis or even worse colon cancer
Cookie Monster: in talks with Jenny Craig for spokesperson 2008/2009

Fozzie: head of entertainment in the Poconos

Miss Piggy: still a Diva living off her royalties from the good ol' days. Her diet consists mostly of champagne and frog's legs (it didn't work out with Kermie)

Kermit: competing with David Suzuki for the title of ultimate green spokesperson

Animal: a successful stock broker on Wall Street

Ralph: now suffering from arthritis in his fingers, he's resigned to drinking port to ease the pain and watching The Hills.

Beaker: a speech language pathologist

Bunsen: he invented Viagra

Swedish Chef: a reject from Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares

Gonzo: married, three kids, banker

Waldorf & Statler: Deceased. And those who know me, know I hate to even think this - I love them with all my heart.

I'm sure Jason will have a sunnier view of the Muppets today - I certainly hope he does.
I am forever six years old, loving every Muppet Show/Sesame Street (English & Espanol)/Fraggle moment.

Finally a Jewish guy who knows how to really get me.